So i’ve been struggling with putting words on paper for awhile.
I thought maybe Ill get into bullet journalling or sum.
I looked at all the youtube videos or moms or questionable uncles tell me how to organize my life by sitting down for a small amount of time everyday and tell, i guess, myself how everything is going or plan for the future or just draw or type “I want to die” 4x and delete it.
IDK
What i’ve learned while trying to get into journaling is that…..my brain is either empty and i’m never truly thinking about anything ( which is scary as a comedian) or it’s starting and stopping so many applications in my brain computer I can’t figure what exactly is important enough to write about.
Then just sitting there with no words on my paper I just create this loop where I think i’m wasting my time and should have stayed in school, where I would probably be in the same place mentally but in a different scenario. More money same issues.
It’s 4/20 btw and I live in texas. If i was still in Vegas, I would be high as an electric bill in the winter. I remember living in Vegas and eating a 100MG edible for the first time. I don’t like to be outside when Im high
so I did it alone.
Smart.
and greedy.
and cheap.
Anyway. That was a mistake. I mean nothing bad happened besides losing a weekend. I ate the edible whole because I’m not punk bitch and im fat and thought the built in fat armor would protect me somehow. Things I think went south and I accidently made the dose stronger by eating some mangos (mangoes, idk) which makes you higher but again… (10 min mark)
I thought the fat would protect me. An hour passes and nothing has happened. I get a little sad because 1. That was like $50 down the drain and 2. I got self-conscience about my weight. I thought the fat really did protect me.
One last hail mary to save this high….which i regret to this day. I opened youtube and opened up a trippy hyno video to maybe… um, force activate the weed.
something like this
Long story short, I woke up 20 hours later in my bed. I lost a whole day.
The most surprising thing is that I didn’t piss the bed.
I also went right back to sleep two hours later….because I was sleepy.