Fears and insecurities [Journal Prompt]

(Btw, just a heads up. How I write these prompts you don't need to answer all the questions. I write as few questions, some relevant some not so much, to help you figure out what you need to write. "What are you grateful for?" is a go-to prompt but it can be answered with one word. In my opinion, that is a good prompt but does nothing when you go back to reflect. I don't know, that's just me. I want to fill that page....ANYWAY- )

What is one fear or insecurity you have?

(ignoring the video) This prompt you can go in two different directions. You can either go simple and just write out some physical fears you have like spiders, heights, etc. Then write out where you think it came from. What was the first memory you had that hit that "...oh yeah, I don't mess with that" switch.

OR

you can go the more "emotional" direction. Fears/insecurities that block your personal growth. Take the stigma of being afraid as a sign of weakness away. So, there is no shame. This is your journal. You can’t face external challenges if you don’t face the ones inside. You can hang up on a bill collector if the call is coming from inside.

Reflect on some of the goals you set and write out somethings that are hindering progress -that’s in your control. Are you not social enough? Do you self-sabotage? Do you feel like you are wasting your and others time? Where do these unproductive ways come from?

Reflect on a time you overcame a challenge.

What’s the worst that can happen?

When facing said fear. When you really look at the issue is it as bad as you paint it? Are your fears just a glass floor?

One thing I learned as a comic (this works for me anyway) is that to face that fear of standing in front of people is to remember - They judged you the moment your name was called. The "Worst" has already happened. Just get up there and try to make them laugh.

Another thing I learned about stage fright as a comic is...I THINK everyone is going to remember this moment if I fail. In reality, most forgot your name the moment it was said. People, especially now, have too much to worry about to remember you stuttering or forgetting your joke.

What would be the best outcome?

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If you watched the full video above, you are already aware of one my biggest fears. hopefully, my example inspired you.

(Just in case you didn’t watch)

One of biggest fears is dying with a full plate. Dying with all my passion projects stuck in limbo. No one to ever love or hate it. It’s so much stuff to do all the time and you never feel like you have enough of it.

Like millions of people back in 2020, I got the ol’ COV and had a stroke at the same time. So, I was out of commission for a month. It got really bad at one point. I kind of accepted whatever was going to happen. I was 27 at the time. Felt like my time was going to be cut short, and just as I finally figured out what I needed to do too.

Fame was never really a thing I wanted but what depressed me the most during that time was the fact I was going to be gone and just become a number. I had nothing for people to remember me as and THAT bothered me more than anything. Reflecting in my journal I noticed something. Though I survived, that feeling stuck with me and changed my personality. Because of that fear, I became that “work over home” cliche you see in movies. My mind is in a constant state of work now. It’s really difficult for me to sit and enjoy a movie or even rest because I feel like I should be MAKING something instead. To trick my mind to enjoy a video game or something I have to go about the act of "making content"; Even If I do nothing with the footage. It's weird. Can’t complain about not making money if I’m not trying. It’s a toxic mindset and I’ve been trying to work on that.

Funny, that mindset will shorten my life more than anything. Counterproductive to what I was hoping to achieve.

Haven’t quite figured it out completely but I am able to identify it at least. It's progress - Thanks to journaling. Writing it out instead of just bottling it up and “figuring it out” later.